Manic

She breathes in

She breathes out
She wakes up
and lays down
She can hardly speak
and so she screams

I won't give again
because she takes so often

Nothing I say will wash it away
I'm standing in the pouring rain
You say it won't happen again
You're manic, manic
There is a chemical in your brain
It's pouring sunshine and rage
You can never know what to expect
You're manic, manic

She loves you
and hates you
You break down
She feels good
She will bleed from insecurity

When will she heal from this
I love her still

She's got everything you want
She's every little thing you're not, yeah

~ Plumb

Really? C'mon.

I'm happy. Don't ruin this for me, ok? Thanks.

You know? I thought I was over this shit.

When you have a father who is self-centered, selfish, emotionally unavailable, and always trying to pull a fast one, it kind of fucks with your sense of self-identity.

Damn it. Seriously.

I'm not like that am I? Anyone? Bueller?

Moreover, I hate that my intention of being a happy singleton only lasts for so long, and then I get all sad and lonely. It's fucking pathetic, really.

I know that these are related. I just wish I was cooler about both.

A much simpler "checklist" for any potential 'Dude I Hang Out With A Lot'

You're not still married, right?
Or, you're not really, really recently divorced?
Are you not on meds for a severe mental condition?
Are you employed/laid off?
Do you like to dance?
Do you not have visible earwax?

Oh, bloody hell...

I hate when you come across something as good and tasty and healthy as this stuff:

... And you spy that the expiration date is almost two weeks old. Fail, Jewel. FAIL. I'm going to DeRosa's instead. Viva las Ma & Pop importers! (Plus, they carry the vanilla flavor. BONUS!)

Off to buy a fresh bottle tomorrow.

Good thing I scored a $1 off coupon. I'm stealthy like that.